Cross-Cultural Marriage

Cross cultural marriage is no longer new for us, Filipinos. Almost all of us know someone who is a product of this kind of relationship. Cross-cultural or intercultural marriage is the union of two people who has different racial groups. But this kind of marriage seems not to be successful. Well, based from what I watched from the television, in some programs and documentaries, most children who are product of  this kind of relationship is no longer cohabiting with one of their parents because his/her parents already had their own separate lives. But how did this kind of marriage or relationship start? And what are the possible reasons why this kind of marriage does not seem to work?

            This kind of marriage only proliferated in the modern times. I’m not saying that it does not exist before (because it do exist), but it only became common during our time. Why? Simply because we have more opportunities today. We can travel to another country within 24 hours, there are international student exchange programs, more people are given the opportunities to work abroad, and lastly, because of the internet. Through the internet or social media, we are given the chance to meet other people from different parts of the world without getting up from our seats. We get to know and interact with other people aside from those who are in our country for various reasons. And sometimes we start to like them and think of them as our possible lifetime partners.

            This kind of relationship starts similarly like those who are born in the same race. They get to know each other, become fond of their similarities (yes, they often disregard their differences), fall in love, and then think of marrying. But things change when they already get to the real business, constituting a family. I had watched a bunch of documentaries or interviews where a child has never met his foreign parent or he already meet his foreign parent but they were left. But what do you think are the reasons why this kind of relationship or marriage does not seem to work? Well, based on what I have read, these are the possible reasons: (1.) one should sacrifice his/her residency. Of course getting married means that the two persons will be cohabiting with each other, which means that one should live to the country of the other. Well, this may not seem easy for the one who will move away from his/her country. It’s hard to leave the place you had known for all your life, you already memorized that place like the back of your hand, and now, just because you get married you are now forced to leave the place that you have learned to love, and have to leave with a place that is strange and new to you. What a sad reality. (2.) Being culture shock. One country’s cultures and tradition might be the opposite of the other or maybe of great distance. This is one of the primary reasons why the couples of this kind of marriage often have quarrels. They do not have the same beliefs, culture, and tradition. What belief, culture and tradition will they teach to their child? The mother’s or the father’s?

Let me tell you a very short story. I have this friend during high school, her mother is a Filipina and her father is a pure Chinese, but they are not married. They wanted to, but his father’s family is against it because they strictly practice the tradition “a Chinese is for only a Chinese”, that’s why her father married another Chinese woman although they are the first family. But he still gets in touch with them, support them, and interact with them.

That’s just one example why intercultural marriage does not work. I’m not concluding that this kind of marriage will never work, because there are successful ones. But I just want to emphasize that it still primarily depends on the two people who is in the marriage whether they will do their best to make it work.  

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SocSci10Z Group 4.

Jaeger Dwayne Tamara, Mike Gyro Paras, Anthony Teofilo Jr., Gianna Capacia, Faye Mendoza, Jerome Gabriel.