Birth Order and Relationships?

Of all possible reasons for a wreckage of a marriage – infidelity, too much arguing, abuse – you name it; birth order may seem to be out of them. However, researches have recently been interested in the links between birth order and relationships.

            Psychologists have already deciphered a connection between birth order and the person’s personality and behavior development. In terms of romantic relationships, the behavior formed by our birth orders, in turn greatly determines how relationships may turn out.                                 http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001256609/firstborn1297010c_1_xlarge.jpeg

FIRST BORNS

            First born kids are usually favored by the parents. These children tend to be conscientious, ambitious, organized and—in relationships—dominant. They like to be in control. They like to be always right. Oldest sons tend to be take-charge types, leaders. Oldest females, meanwhile, are more likely to be bossy, confident and aggressive than their younger sisters. First born children often pay a high price for their personalities. This is because the traits and abilities that enable them to succeed as at work or in other organizations tend to work against them in their close personal relationships (Leman cited in Murphy, 2009).

MIDDLE CHILDREN

Middle children can be predictable. In general, middles may often feel out of place and tend to be good at compromise—a skill valuable to them as they deal with bossy older sibs and needy younger ones. The literature describes middle born children as mentally tough and independent. They become this way from learning to cope with their feelings of rejection they have and being the fifth wheel in their families, while growing up. They are not very open with others and do not choose to confide in other people. They are known as the secretive sibling. They usually are the last people to seek help if needed. They do not identify with problems that their older and younger siblings have (Leman cited in Murphy, 2009).

YOUNGEST CHILDREN

Yes, the babies of the family. They are stereotyped as the ones always pampered and spoiled by their parents. They like to be the center of attention. In order for them to be the center of attention they need to come up with ways to stand apart from their older siblings (Kalkan cited in Murphy, 2008). They are adventurous, easygoing, empathetic, open to experiences, popular, and sociable. They like to act like the clown of their peer group. Last born children can also be described as charmers, manipulators, carefree and vivacious, rebellious, affectionate, temperamental, spoiled, impatient and persistent. They like to be praised and have an “I will show them” attitude. However, that can be different if the baby of the family came after a gap of more than a few years. In that case, the baby of the family may act more like an only child or an older sibling—as if the family had started all over again.

ONLY CHILDREN

The only born child role is known to be much like the first born child, only whose attitude is more supreme. The only child tends to be critical and self-centered. The stereotype about only children is that they are pampered and precious, and thus will have trouble ceding the spotlight to anyone. But that doesn't describe every only child. In fact, many onlies act a lot like firstborns. They tend to be responsible as well as mature. In fact, many "grow up" more quickly than kids with sibs, attributed to how much time they spend with adults.

            Birth order may impact how couples behave and think in their relationships. Most people who enter into a romantic relationship will choose partners of similar birth order. When this happens, the partners are too much alike and do not get along well because they are always tiptoeing on each other’s territory. (Murphy, 2012)

Kevin Leman, a psychologist and author on the topic, writes that the best birth-order marriages are: An only child and a youngest child, allowing the former to behave in a parental way and care for his or her partner; or a firstborn and a youngest child, for the same reason, as Dr. Leman says. Considered among the worst is lastborn to lastborn; while you may have fun, the relationship may get a little out of control, with no one in charge.

Still, there are other factors in a person’s personality development. Birth order cannot guarantee how a person and his/her relationships may turn out. These birth order characteristics are also not applicable in all people. As what sociology believes, one size does not fit all.

REFERENCES

Schipani, D. (2010, May 28). How Does Birth Order Affect Relationships? Retrieved March 5, 2015, from http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a1611/how-does-birth-order-affect-relationships-107592/

Shellenbarger, S. (2009, December 2). How Does Birth Order Affect Marriage? Retrieved March 5, 2015, from http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2009/12/02/how-does-birth-order-affect-marriage/

Murphy, L. (2012). The Impact of Birth Order on Romantic Relationships. Unpublished masteral dissertation,  Adler Graduate School, Minnesota, USA.

SocSci10 Z Group 5


Enriquez, Ryan
Flores, Nathaniel Lorenz
Galido, Noel Joseph
Jimenez, Rica
Paican, Maria Luzviminda
Vergara, Bryan