Bagita

Bagita: Mahirap Maging Batang Ina

“Batang- bata ka pa at marami ka pang kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo…”

Habang ako’y nagmumuni-muni sa aking silid, binasag ng tunog ng aking telepono ang imaheng nabubuo sa aking isipan. “Ui Girl, aattend ka ba ng binyag ng anak ni ___?”

            Hindi ko alam, wala akong alam, hindi ko alam na si ___ay ganap ng ina, isang batang ina.

            Kaklase ko si ___ mula sa aming unang taon sa sekondarya hanggang sa kami ay nagsipagtapos. Naging kaibigan ko sya at lubos na nakilala. Galing siya sa isang pamilya kung saan kasama niya ang kaniyang ina at tatlong kapatid na babae mula sa magkakaibang ama. Matalino siya, mabait, tahimik, at mababatid mo sa kaniya ang murang kaisipan at pangangatawan. Ngayong ganap na siyang ina, paano niya haharapin ang bukas?

            Ayon sa resulta ng pagsusuri ng National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) noong nakaraang 2013, isa sa bawat sampung batang babae na may edad mula 15-19 taong gulang sa Pilipinas ay nagsimula nang magluwal ng kanilang anak. Ang walong porsyento ay ganap nang ina at ang natitirang dalawang porsyento ay ipinagbubuntis ang kanilang unang anak. Patuloy pa rin ang pagtaas ng bilang ng mga batang nabubuntis at kalakip nito ang patuloy ring paglobo ng negatibong epektong hatid nito, di lamang sa ina at sa sanggol, bagkus pati na rin sa lipunan.

            Unang una, ang maagang pagbubuntis o panganganak ay lubos na mapanganib sa murang katawan ng nagdadalang tao. Maraming mga suliranin ang maidudulot nito tulad na lamang ng pagkakaroon ng highblood pressure o pregnancy-induced hypertension, preeclampsia, sexually transmitted diseases at iba pa. Bukod sa mga ito, ang isang ina’y may posibilidad na makaramdam ng matinding pagkalungkot o postpartum depression na kadalasang nararamdaman pagkatapos niyang manganak, maari rin silang magsilang ng isang sanggol na kulang sa timbang at kulang sa buwan. Ayon sa aklat na “Kaalaman sa Buhay” na inilathala ng DA(Department of Agriculture) sa pakikipag ugnayan sa PIA(Philippine Information Agency) at UNICEP(United Nation Children’s Fund), “Sa Pilipinas,22% ng kabuuang bilang ng mga namatay sa taong 1980 ay mga sanggol. Ang pinakamaraming sanggol na namatay noong 1985 ay nasa gitna at kanlurang Mindanao sa daming 105 sa bawat 1000 ipinanganak, at umabot pa sa 133 kabuuan bawat 1000 sa Sulu at Tawi-tawi. Pinakamaraming namatay na mga inang wala pang 15 taong gulang- 71.7 ang namatay sa bawat 1000 na nanganganak.” Maraming mga batang ina ang kadalasang tumitigil sa pag-aaral upang alagaan na lamang ang kanilang anak at pinapaliit ang lugar na iikutan ng kanilang buhay dahil sa hindi maiiwasang usap- usapan.

            Nakatutuwang isipin na si _____ ay nakalagpas na sa pagsubok na ito ng kanyang buhay, siya ay patuloy na nag-aaral ngayon sa kolehiyo at hinarap ang mga usap usapang minsang nagpaliit ng kanyang mundo. Sa tulong ng kanyang pamilyang laging nakaagapay at sa tulong ng ama ng kanyang anak, patuloy niyang binubuo ang kanyang buhay.

            Hindi lingid sa ating kaalaman na ang ating ina ay nahihirapan ring gampanan ang kanilang tungkulin, paano pa kaya ang mga batang nagsisimula pa lang sumibol at wala pang kakayahang magdesisyon para sa kanilang sarili ay may responsibilidad na nag aantay para sa isa pang sisibol na buhay? Oo nga at hindi natin maitatanggi na marami nang napagdaanan ang isang bata na buhay sa mundo sa loob ng labing limang taon, ngunit marami pang kailangan matutunan at maranasan upang maging handa sa mga bagay bagay na aatake sa iyo na maaaring magparupok at magpabagsak sa iyo ngunit sa kabila ng lahat, ang mga pag atakeng ito ang magsisilbing hudyat ng yong pagbangon para sayong sarili, sa iyong pamilya at sa iyong lipunan.

References:

1991. Kabanata 1: Pag-aanak sa Tamang Panahon. Kaalaman sa Buhay (Facts for Life) Pambansang Edisyon ng Pilipinas. (pp. 5) Manila, Philippines

Philippine Statistic Authority, National Statistic Office: http://web.psa.gov.ph/tags/teenage-pregnancy

WebMd: http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/teen-pregnancy-medical-risks-and-realities:page=2  

World Health Organization: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs364/en/

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SocSci10Z Group 4.

Jaeger Dwayne Tamara, Mike Gyro Paras, Anthony Teofilo Jr., Gianna Capacia, Faye Mendoza, Jerome Gabriel.

          Due to our past lessons about how “motherly love” was not instilled in a person or how this kind of love is learned and that mothers are not simply born with it. Motherly love is practiced, so to say because it requires time, technique and effort in order for your child to grow up healthy and active.

          With those mothers that weren’t able to learn this kind of love, the attention that they will be able to give to their child would be little to none. This would now affect what kind of behavior the child will have towards anyone and life, in general.

          After watching documentaries and reading some studies about the topic, it reminded me of a book that I once read when I was in 6th grade.

         The book was entitled, (and perhaps you have read this wonderful book) “The Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett. If familiar, this was also adapted into a movie way back in 1993 by Warner Bros.

          In this book, the main character, Mary Lennox, was a horribly disagreeable-looking child and was both neglected by her parents. She had a businessman and an ill-stricken father who always had something to do that he never has the time for his daughter, and a beautiful mother whose hobbies were only going to parties and be around gay people.

          Her mother never wanted a girl for a child. With this, she entrusted little Mary to an Ayah, or a servant, and notified her that she must tend her needs and to keep her out of sight as much as possible. Bearing this in mind, Mary grew up to be spoiled and obnoxious. Quoting from the book, “…by the time she was six years old she was as tyrannical and selfish a little pig as ever lived.” She only chose servants whom could properly attend to her.

          However, her life as a princess ended when both of her parents died and she had to be sent to her uncle, her mother’s brother and live with him in his manor. Mary had a hard time keeping up with the lifestyle that she has now that she had no servants falling at her feet.

           As the story goes on, she meets Mr. Craven, the caretaker of her uncle’s house who helps her tend to the garden that was been locked away for years. Dickon, a boy with whom she has now formed a special bond with and also helps her take care of the garden. Mary has now become a cheerful but still somewhat a bit spoiled of a child with their company.

           The ending of the book satisfied my soul and the “feels” were just too much to contain.

           The transition that Mary had had after being with someone who cares and likes her was a big development on her character when she was just surrounded by servants and avoided by her parents. Growing up with that kind of love surely has an impact towards a child and he or she’s character.

(Group 3)

SS10-Z

Nunez, Vanessa Janine R.
Red, Ramces Brayalle T.
Ojos, Kevin H.

Alabin, Glassyl R.

Calip, Kaye Paula Ara M.

'Ako' at 'Kayo' Magkaiba

     "Gustong-gusto kong maranasan kung paano magkaroon ng isang kapatid." Ito ang pahayag na nasambit ng isa naming kagrupo nang tinanong namin kung minsan ba ay nasagi sa kanyang isipan o natanong sa kanyang mga magulang ang tungkol sa pagkakaroon ng mga kapatid.

     Sa isang tipikal na istruktura ng bawat pamilya sa Pilipinas, karaniwang binubuo ito ng isang ina, ama, mga anak, at minsan ay kasama ang mga lolo at lola. Ngunit sa bawat pamilyang Pilipino, tunay ngang may pagkakaiba ang mga ito sa kung ilan ang bilang ng mga anak. May ilang pamilya na mayroong dalawa, tatlo o mas madami pang anak at minsan naman ay mayroon ding nag-iisa lang. Ngunit ano nga ba ang pagkakaiba ng mga ugali ng bawat anak sa pamilya, ang nag-iisang anak laban sa madami? Ano ang epekto ng birth order sa relasyon ng mga magkakapatid? At bakit nga ba may ilang pamilya na isa lang ang anak? Ito ba ay kagustuhan lamang ng mga magulang o dahil sadyang hindi na talaga kayang magbuntis ng ilang ina?

     Sa panahon ngayon, dahil sa kahirapan sa buhay, hindi maiaalis ang katotohanan na mas naibabaling ang atensyon ng ilang mga magulang sa kung papaano nila masusuportahan ang mga pangangailangang materyal at pinansyal ng kanilang mga anak at kung papaano nila mapaghahandaan ang mga hinaharap nito upang mabuhay nang matiwasay. Kaya naman may ilang mga magulang, madalas ay iyong mga edukado at may maayos na trabaho, ay mas pinipili na lamang na magkaroon muna ng isang anak. Ngunit sa kabilang dako naman na siyang kapansin-pansin ngayon sa bansa, lalo na sa mga lungsod, kung sino pa iyong mga salat sa buhay ay sila pa ang mga nagkakaroon ng madaming anak. Sa mga nabanggit na dahilan, maari nating masabi na malaki ang nagiging epekto nito sa kung paano kumilos at mag-isip ang mga anak.

     Ang pagkakasunud sunod ng mga anak o birth order ay may malaking epekto sa relasyon ng mga magkakapatid sa isa’t isa. Ayon kay Robert Sanders sa kanyang librong "Sibling Relationships", iba-iba ang epekto ng birth order sa mga panganay o mga nakatatandang kapatid, sa mga mas bata, at sa mga nag-iisang anak . Ang mga nakatatandang kapatid raw ay mas responsable at matapat. Pakiramdam nila ay espesyal sila at responsable sila sa pagpapanatili ng kapakanan ng pamilya. Minsan ay nagagalit sila sa kanilang mga nakababatang kapatid. Malaki ang ekspektasyon ng kanilang mga magulang sa kanila sapagkat sila ang inaasahang magbigay ng karangalan sa kanilang pamilya kaya minsan ay nakakaranas sila ng pressure. Ang mga bunso o mga nakababatang mga kapatid naman ay mas walang inaalala. Sila ay kadalasang tinuturing na 'baby' ng pamilya. Maaring sila ay sanay na na may nag-aalaga sa kanila, at hindi nila ramdam ang responsibilidad nila sa pamilya di gaya ng mga panganay o nakatatandang kapatid. Madalas, sila rin ang may mas kaunti na respeto sa nakatatanda. Ang mga nag-iisang anak o only child naman ay mas gustong mag-isa at sila ay nahihirapan sa pakikitungo sa iba at sa pakikipagkaibigan. Sila rin ay nababalisa, resulta ng pagiging overprotective ng kanilang mga magulang. Kadalasan, malapit sila sa kanilang mga magulang.

         Sa kalagayan ng ilan naming kagrupo, ang nabanggit na paliwanag ni Sanders ay may pagkakatulad sa kanilang karansan. Halimbawa na lamang ang kwento ng isa naming kagrupo na bunso sa tatlong magkakapatid. “ Karaniwang nakikita ko na ang panaganay sa amin ang pinakaresponsable sa aming magkakapatid, ang pangalawa ay yung kumbaga’y ‘left out’ at ang bunso yung spoiled at iresponsable. Bilang bunso, nasa akin lahat ng pressure – yung maging kasingkatulad ng aking ate, na maging magaling sa kanila, puro pressure na galing sa magulang. Sa pag-uutos, laging pasahan, at ako na rin yung gagawa since wala na rin akong mas nakababatang kapatid na pwedeng utusan.”

Nagbahagi rin ang isa naming kagrupo na middle child, “Hindi ako naniniwala sa madalas nilang sinasabi na ang middle child daw ay ang black sheep ng pamilya. Kasi ako, hindi naman pabigat sa aking pamilya. Actually parang ako pa nga yung nagiging mabuting anak sa amin. Yung ate ko, nung bata kami, palaging napapansin ko lang na palaging yung mga gusto niya yung napagbibigyan tapos ako yung kawawa. Palaging siya yung napapansin kasi siya yung matalino, mabait dati. Pero nagbago ang lahat. Nung lumaki na kami, nagsumikap ako na mapansin ng mga magulang ko. Nagpakadalubhasa ako. Nagpakabait. Yung ate ko nagbagi yung ugali. Gusto niya siya yung palaging nasusunod. Medyo rebellious na rin siya. Tapos kapag may iniutos sa kanya yun nga pinapasa niya din sa akin. Tapos siguro pressured din siya kasi nasa kanya lahat ng responsibilidad kaya ganun. Yung bunso naman sa amin, palagi ding nasusunod yung gusto niya. Spoiled brat yun eh. Palagi nga kaming nag-aaway eh.”

Ayon naman sa isa naming kagrupong panganay, “Bilang pinakamatanda na anak sa aming pamilya, malaki ang expectations sa akin ng mga parents ko. Kailangan ko magsikap sa pag-aaral sapagkat inaasahan nila na ako ay tutulong sa pag-aaral ng mga kapatid ko. Actually, hindi ko masyado ka-close yung mga kapatid ko. Hindi kami nagpapansinan nung kapatid ko na sumunod sa akin, at palagi naman kaming nag-aaway nung bunso kong kapatid. Ako din yung palaging nauutusan, pero kung tinatamad ako, inuutos ko sa iba kong mga kapatid. Yung middle child sa aming pamilya, ay hindi masyadong napapansin, di gaya naming panganay at bunso sa pamilya. Siya rin yung palaging napapagalitan kung may mali siyang nagawa hindi katulad ko at ng bunso kong kapatid na madaling makalusot sa mga kalokohan namin.”

Gayunpaman hindi pa rin natin maaring sabibin na ganito nga yung nangyayari sa bawat anak. Nakadepende pa rin ito sa mismong indibidwal at sa mga taong kanyang nakakasalamuha at ang paligid na kanyang ginagalawan. Dahil bawat pamilya sa bawat lugar, at ang mga miyembro nito ay magkakaiba. Maaring ang mga nabanggit sa itaas ay totoo lamang sa iilan at maari din namang hindi angkop sa iba.

Source:

Sanders, R., & Campling, J. (2004). Sibling relationships: Theory and issues for practice ([Pbk. ed., p.            65). New York: Palgrave Macmillan.

GROUP 6

Domingo, Mark Anthony

Jacobe, Dessa Mae

Perez, Jeff

Posilero, Jinky

Rubiano, Geremie

Tajan, Patrisha Willyn Mae

Birth Order and Relationships?

Of all possible reasons for a wreckage of a marriage – infidelity, too much arguing, abuse – you name it; birth order may seem to be out of them. However, researches have recently been interested in the links between birth order and relationships.

            Psychologists have already deciphered a connection between birth order and the person’s personality and behavior development. In terms of romantic relationships, the behavior formed by our birth orders, in turn greatly determines how relationships may turn out.                                 http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001256609/firstborn1297010c_1_xlarge.jpeg

FIRST BORNS

            First born kids are usually favored by the parents. These children tend to be conscientious, ambitious, organized and—in relationships—dominant. They like to be in control. They like to be always right. Oldest sons tend to be take-charge types, leaders. Oldest females, meanwhile, are more likely to be bossy, confident and aggressive than their younger sisters. First born children often pay a high price for their personalities. This is because the traits and abilities that enable them to succeed as at work or in other organizations tend to work against them in their close personal relationships (Leman cited in Murphy, 2009).

MIDDLE CHILDREN

Middle children can be predictable. In general, middles may often feel out of place and tend to be good at compromise—a skill valuable to them as they deal with bossy older sibs and needy younger ones. The literature describes middle born children as mentally tough and independent. They become this way from learning to cope with their feelings of rejection they have and being the fifth wheel in their families, while growing up. They are not very open with others and do not choose to confide in other people. They are known as the secretive sibling. They usually are the last people to seek help if needed. They do not identify with problems that their older and younger siblings have (Leman cited in Murphy, 2009).

YOUNGEST CHILDREN

Yes, the babies of the family. They are stereotyped as the ones always pampered and spoiled by their parents. They like to be the center of attention. In order for them to be the center of attention they need to come up with ways to stand apart from their older siblings (Kalkan cited in Murphy, 2008). They are adventurous, easygoing, empathetic, open to experiences, popular, and sociable. They like to act like the clown of their peer group. Last born children can also be described as charmers, manipulators, carefree and vivacious, rebellious, affectionate, temperamental, spoiled, impatient and persistent. They like to be praised and have an “I will show them” attitude. However, that can be different if the baby of the family came after a gap of more than a few years. In that case, the baby of the family may act more like an only child or an older sibling—as if the family had started all over again.

ONLY CHILDREN

The only born child role is known to be much like the first born child, only whose attitude is more supreme. The only child tends to be critical and self-centered. The stereotype about only children is that they are pampered and precious, and thus will have trouble ceding the spotlight to anyone. But that doesn't describe every only child. In fact, many onlies act a lot like firstborns. They tend to be responsible as well as mature. In fact, many "grow up" more quickly than kids with sibs, attributed to how much time they spend with adults.

            Birth order may impact how couples behave and think in their relationships. Most people who enter into a romantic relationship will choose partners of similar birth order. When this happens, the partners are too much alike and do not get along well because they are always tiptoeing on each other’s territory. (Murphy, 2012)

Kevin Leman, a psychologist and author on the topic, writes that the best birth-order marriages are: An only child and a youngest child, allowing the former to behave in a parental way and care for his or her partner; or a firstborn and a youngest child, for the same reason, as Dr. Leman says. Considered among the worst is lastborn to lastborn; while you may have fun, the relationship may get a little out of control, with no one in charge.

Still, there are other factors in a person’s personality development. Birth order cannot guarantee how a person and his/her relationships may turn out. These birth order characteristics are also not applicable in all people. As what sociology believes, one size does not fit all.

REFERENCES

Schipani, D. (2010, May 28). How Does Birth Order Affect Relationships? Retrieved March 5, 2015, from http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a1611/how-does-birth-order-affect-relationships-107592/

Shellenbarger, S. (2009, December 2). How Does Birth Order Affect Marriage? Retrieved March 5, 2015, from http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2009/12/02/how-does-birth-order-affect-marriage/

Murphy, L. (2012). The Impact of Birth Order on Romantic Relationships. Unpublished masteral dissertation,  Adler Graduate School, Minnesota, USA.

SocSci10 Z Group 5


Enriquez, Ryan
Flores, Nathaniel Lorenz
Galido, Noel Joseph
Jimenez, Rica
Paican, Maria Luzviminda
Vergara, Bryan

The Unconventional

           I usually get bugged by certain questions that my parents ask me. Questions like: "When will you court someone?", "Why won't you let us help you court someone?" and so on. The thing is, I don't get it, I don't get why there is a need to publicly tell someone you love them. That there must be some sort of announcement that: Yes I am dating someone. Some might say that these kinds of things are ingrained in our society and that we cannot change it. After all, it works wonderful today to most people. But I will show you two points why it might not be the best thing to do.

  First, it makes things a little more intimate. A relationship kept between two people is a relationship that is strong. I believe that courtship isn't actually helping establish that intimacy. Because it allows other people to meddle with the affairs of the two people it makes their time with each other not theirs but other's and regarding this topic comes my second point courtship could as easily influence the couple's decisions and thus makes their interaction with each other not only limited by what the other people want to see but also what other people want them to feel.

Lastly, courtship forces the people to acknowledge what they have in cold, hard reality. This might be preference but it might be as well considered as something that most people might be facing. As courtship removes the fantasy that we have when we first met that special someone. Courtship creates this strong aura around the two people that somehow, they must face the reality that they will have. Putting in hand the practical things and whatnot.

In the end, these are points made by someone unconventional. As I firmly believe that in order for you to express romantic love with someone, you need not to court that person, publicly. It is enough for things such as these to remain private and thus not removing the intimacy and the fantasy of love between two people.

 (Group 3) ; SS10 Z

Nunez, Vanessa Janine R.
Red, Ramces Brayalle T.
Ojos, Glassyl R.
Calip, Kaye Paula Ara M.

SS 10 Z - Group 2 - Open and Close Adoption

Pros and Cons of Open and Closed Adoption

For couples who would want children but unable to, and for children who are in search of a family, the adoption system exists for them. There are two types of adoption: open and closed adoption. For this blog entry, we consider children put up for adoption whose parents are still living.

Birthparents might adopt out their child because of various reasons such as being financially unable to support the child, the mother is a single mother, and the birthparents are not living together or a birthparent has a problematic issue such as drugs and alcohol and the child might be unsafe around the birthparent.

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In open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents meet one another and can share information and can keep in contact over the years. In open adoption, the adoptive parents hold the rights as legal parents. There can be direct contact between the families and the child can meet both sets of parents.

ADVANTAGES

1. Advantages for the birthparents

• Birthparents get to decide on the prospective adoptive parents
• Birthparents can keep in contact with the adoptive parents (by sending photos/videos/etc.) to see if the child is being treated well
• Birthparents can have reduced fear for their child’s future as the child is adopted out to a more capable family

2. Advantages for the adoptive parents

• Medical histories are easily provided for the child as the information is readily provided by the birthparents. Also, if organ transplants or blood donors are needed for the child, the birthparents can be donors.
• Roles are clearly defined as the child usually sees them as his/her parents, while the birthparents are seen as really loving people.

3. Advantages for the adopted child

• There will be no struggles for identity as the child is aware of his/her origin and heritage. All legal information is within the range of the adoptive family (family name, religious affiliation, etc.)
• The child will have the ability to ask his/her birthparents on the reasons of him/her being given up for adoption and the child won’t have to go search for his/her birthparents.
• If the child is in of medication, medical histories and genetically-passed on diseases can be tracked.

DISADVANTAGES

1. Disadvantages for the Birthparents

• The birthparents might be disappointed if the adoptive family fails to provide properly for the child
• If the adoptive parents want to change their minds and not go through with the adoption, it might leave the child in foster care

2. Disadvantages for the Adoptive parents

• Additional pressure might be put on the adoptive parents such as the demand of contact from the birthparents and high expectations to provide well for the child
• Unstable relationships might break out between the birth family and adoptive family and this will have dire consequence for the child
• The birthparents might become overbearing and demanding

3. Disadvantages for the Adopted child

• The child might have a harder time to feel accepted within the adoptive family because of his/her interaction with the birth family
• If the birth family stops contact with the child, the child might feel abandoned and rejected
• As the child grows, he/she might have problems and confusion in identifying family histories and genealogy. The child might also have a hard time explaining his/her family to his/her friends

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As for closed adoption, the information on the birthparents is kept confidential and the child is adopted in infancy. Closed adoption is not possible on older children for they would already know their birthparents by then. Closed adoption keeps the adopted child from finding out who his/her birthparents are.

Closed adoption used to be the traditional form of adoption. There are various reasons on why closed adoptions are used

• The adoptive parents can’t have any children but would want to treat the adopted child as a birth child and would want to be treated as birthparents in turn
• If the birthparents are dangerous or are psychologically disturbed and it would be dangerous for the child

ADVANTAGES

1. Advantages for the birthparents

• If, for some reason, the birthparents don’t want the child to know about them, they could keep their information secret
• The birthparents could have more privacy in a closed adoption as opposed to an open one

2. Advantages for the adoptive parents

• There is family security as the information is kept from the birthparent if he/she has a problem (drugs, alcohol, etc.) that could be detrimental to the child
• There are clearly defined roles are the birthparents are out of the picture
• There is also family freedom as their time can be focused and not divided on a birth family’s account
• There is no need to share the child with birthparents

3. Advantages for the adopted child

• There are clearly defined roles for the adopted child on who his/her parents are
• There is protection for him/her from unstable birthparents
• The child doesn’t have to split his/her attention and affections between both sets of parents

DISADVANTAGES

1. Disadvantage for the birthparents

• There is no contact between the adoptive family and birthparents
• There might be a sense of guilt for giving the child up for adoption

2. Disadvantages for the adoptive parents

• Fear and uncertainty of letting the adopted child know that he/she are not blood-related
• Lacking in medical information

3. Disadvantages for the adopted child

• Struggles with identity
• Might go in search for birthparents
• No medical history or no possible donors for surgery
• Feeling of abandonment and numerous insecurities

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The closed adoption used to be the traditional form of adoption. If the child doesn’t find out that he/she is adopted and continue to believe that he/she is blood related (unlikely), it might turn out well but the adopted child might encounter more emotional turmoil and uncertainties.

In the open adoption system, the child can contact his/her birthparents and clear up identity and emotional turmoil but can lead to confusion about parenting roles and pressures from two families. The open adoption system is the more widely practiced of the two and generally results in better welfare for the child.

If you or your family is going to adopt a child (assuming birthparents are still alive), would you make use of the open or closed adoption system?

Cross-Cultural Marriage

Cross cultural marriage is no longer new for us, Filipinos. Almost all of us know someone who is a product of this kind of relationship. Cross-cultural or intercultural marriage is the union of two people who has different racial groups. But this kind of marriage seems not to be successful. Well, based from what I watched from the television, in some programs and documentaries, most children who are product of  this kind of relationship is no longer cohabiting with one of their parents because his/her parents already had their own separate lives. But how did this kind of marriage or relationship start? And what are the possible reasons why this kind of marriage does not seem to work?

            This kind of marriage only proliferated in the modern times. I’m not saying that it does not exist before (because it do exist), but it only became common during our time. Why? Simply because we have more opportunities today. We can travel to another country within 24 hours, there are international student exchange programs, more people are given the opportunities to work abroad, and lastly, because of the internet. Through the internet or social media, we are given the chance to meet other people from different parts of the world without getting up from our seats. We get to know and interact with other people aside from those who are in our country for various reasons. And sometimes we start to like them and think of them as our possible lifetime partners.

            This kind of relationship starts similarly like those who are born in the same race. They get to know each other, become fond of their similarities (yes, they often disregard their differences), fall in love, and then think of marrying. But things change when they already get to the real business, constituting a family. I had watched a bunch of documentaries or interviews where a child has never met his foreign parent or he already meet his foreign parent but they were left. But what do you think are the reasons why this kind of relationship or marriage does not seem to work? Well, based on what I have read, these are the possible reasons: (1.) one should sacrifice his/her residency. Of course getting married means that the two persons will be cohabiting with each other, which means that one should live to the country of the other. Well, this may not seem easy for the one who will move away from his/her country. It’s hard to leave the place you had known for all your life, you already memorized that place like the back of your hand, and now, just because you get married you are now forced to leave the place that you have learned to love, and have to leave with a place that is strange and new to you. What a sad reality. (2.) Being culture shock. One country’s cultures and tradition might be the opposite of the other or maybe of great distance. This is one of the primary reasons why the couples of this kind of marriage often have quarrels. They do not have the same beliefs, culture, and tradition. What belief, culture and tradition will they teach to their child? The mother’s or the father’s?

Let me tell you a very short story. I have this friend during high school, her mother is a Filipina and her father is a pure Chinese, but they are not married. They wanted to, but his father’s family is against it because they strictly practice the tradition “a Chinese is for only a Chinese”, that’s why her father married another Chinese woman although they are the first family. But he still gets in touch with them, support them, and interact with them.

That’s just one example why intercultural marriage does not work. I’m not concluding that this kind of marriage will never work, because there are successful ones. But I just want to emphasize that it still primarily depends on the two people who is in the marriage whether they will do their best to make it work.  

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SocSci10Z Group 4.

Jaeger Dwayne Tamara, Mike Gyro Paras, Anthony Teofilo Jr., Gianna Capacia, Faye Mendoza, Jerome Gabriel.