It’s okay, things gonna be alright.

   At some point of my life, there came a time when I got really mad to my brother. He was called the “black sheep” of the family. I hated him for a being a rebel. He would go out with his peers for how many days without even asking permission from our parents. He drank alcohol and even involved to physical fights thus bringing so much stress to our family. We were always worried of him being hurt because of his behavior, which sometimes prevent us from sleeping all night. Before, he seldom does those things, until it worsened and he started doing a lot of more complicated things, in taking harmful substances.

                I thought he was our family’s headache, the cause of the problem. Because he was bad and taking so much attention from us, a pain in the ass. We were stressed because of him and it’s in his attitude where the problem lies. But getting into college was a different thing. There is just so much information and explanations for the things that I was not able to understand before. I’m not saying that I already know everything, but at least I know now that there is something wrong with what I thought was right in the past. I had a glimpsed of the reality which I was blinded before, that it was not his fault alone. And like every members of our family, he was also a victim of stress. And we are all at fault and a patient at the same time.

                According to the book Filipino Children under Stress written by Maria Lourdes Carandang of Ateneo De Manila University, there is this thing she called symptomatic behavior, frequently seen in child, as signal of some stress, or conflict, within the family system. There were some case studies in her book where kids experienced so much pressure from the family and odd behaviors were observed.

                As the family experienced problem, maybe financially or within their relationships to each other, it is impossible for any member not to feel it. Every changes happening in an individual inside the family will affect the other, and sometimes the weakest carry all the weight of these conflicts. The problem is not the real problem. But it is how the family handles the problems. Some families don’t discuss it, as if the problem will just disappear like a magic even without confronting it. While the parents crumble upon facing the stress, the children start to acquire a superpower, the power of invisibility. They become the last of priorities and least on the lists of those needing their attention. The children starts to feel like an extra baggage in the family, things were not explained and stress were taken out unto them. The parents may not discuss that there is problem, but all members knew it, they could feel and there is always someone who’s going to shout out for help. It becomes their channel of expressing the pressure, to get their parent’s attention.  Their way shouting, asking for help to save their family.

                In treating the child whom experienced the breakdown, the family must cooperate and realize that all of them have a problem to address. They must support one another to overcome the problem. While it’s still early, let us learn how to listen to listen to each other’s unspoken cries, before it’s too late.

                As I tried to think back, there was really something wrong in our family during the developing years of my brother. All those years, what he got from my parents were scolding, anger and aloofness from his siblings. He didn’t received what he really needed from us, love and understanding. I didn’t know that he was once a little boy, with a vulnerable heart and in need of attention.

We have allowed the huge problem to prevent us from looking into each other’s eyes. To hug each other and say that “it’s okay, things gonna be alright”. It would have helped a lot. 

SocSci10 Z Group 5

Enriquez, Ryan

Flores, Nathaniel Lorenz

Galido, Noel Joseph

Jimenez, Rica

Paican, Maria Luzviminda

Vergara, Bryan

Love is all you need

            Have you been experienced having a special someone? Someone you want to spend your time and give your attention. That at that time of your life, you don’t care if in the future it will give you a scar, all you know is that you’re in love, and that emotion is just so amazing. Many people say that, falling in love is indeed, the best thing that will ever happen to a person. They say that it is love when you can still draw a smile on your face even though you are facing the worst day ever; when you catch yourself thinking about that person; when every second, minute, hour, and day with him is like heaven; and all that matters is that at that moment, you know that you want to be with him or her for the rest of your life.  But is that feeling is really what they called love? What does it really means to be in love?

            They say “Love is all you need.” Many of us have sensed it intuitively. Now, behind this statement is a science. With the Harvard researcher’ 75- year old longitudinal study, they suggest that “love is indeed key to a hapy and fulfilling life.” Dr. George Vaillant, the Harvard study’s lead researcher wrote of his team’s findings. The finding is that: “two essential ingredients are proven to correlate with a happy existence: "One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away." We face many hindrances in taking the actions that permit love to flow without restraint throughout our lives and relationships, as many of us believe that we would like to be in love. And as a lover, we have so many means of defending ourselves against it and can fight to give and receive love with ease, openness and vulnerability.

            With love being connected closely to meaning and fulfillment, it is precious for each people to define love as an “action or series of actions we can take to bring us closer to the people we value.” In a romantic context, the “Psychology Today” gives some important and critical characteristics that fit the description of a loving relationship. And it include:

àExpressions of affection, both physical and emotional.

àA wish to offer pleasure and satisfaction to another.

àTenderness, compassion, and sensitivity to the needs of the other.

àA desire for shared activities and pursuits.

àAn appropriate level of sharing of possessions.

àAn ongoing, honest exchange of personal feelings.

àThe process of offering concern, comfort, and outward assistance for the loved one's aspirations.

            Frequently, we think of love as a contrary to a conscious choice we make and almost a passive state of being. We come to see ourselves and that special person as a single unit. We then fall into roles instead of appreciating each other as individuals ad experiencing the exciting and loving feelings that result.

            Truly, as we reflect, we learn and discover a lot, not only how we interpose woth our feelings for that person, but also the negative ways we feel about ourselves. “One of the biggest reasons we shut out love is because we feel unworthy or self-denying. Therefore, to have a loving relationship, we must challenge our negative self-concept, or critical inner voice. When we do this and take the loving actions that contradict our critical self-image, we enhance our own sense of worth and are able to get closer to the people we love.”

Group 2

Anna Mae Alamag

Jeska Nicole Cabiles

Dally Delos Santos

Rensea Mae De Vera

Isabella Herreria

Feby Andrea Laroco

Danna Ruiz

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201312/what-it-really-means-be-in-love

Same Sex Marriage

            Isa sa mga isyu na kinakaharap ng ating bansa ngayon ay ang same sex marriage. Parami na nang parami ang mga gustong magpakasal kahit parehas ang kanilang kasarian. Ang isyu na ito ay patuloy na pinagdedebatehan hanggang ngayon dahil marami pa rin ang hindi sumasang-ayon dito at hindi pa rin tumatanggap sa mga taong LGBT.

Hindi natin masasabi na ang same sex marriage ay hindi katanggap-tanggap kung wala naman nasasaktan na iba ang mga taong may kaparehong kasarian na gustong magpakasal. Ngunit, marami pa rin ang sumasalungat sa isyung ito, marahil dahil sa impluwensya ng relihiyon at/o mga paniniwala sa kultura ukol sa kadalisayan ng pagpapalagayang-loob (intimacy). Dahil isang Katolikong bansa ang Pilipinas, marami ang nagsasabi na hindi banal at maka-Diyos ang pagpapakasal ng dalawang taong magkapareho ng kasarian sapagkat ang pagpapakasal ay isang sagradong pangyayari sa pagitan ng isang lalaki at isang babae.

 Marami na ring naglalabasang mga siyentipikong paliwanag kung bakit hindi nararapat na ipatupad ang same sex marriage. Isa na rito ang problema sa kanilang magiging mga anak. Dahil pareho sila ng kasarian, hindi sila makakagawa ng anak kaya marahil na sila ay mag-aampon o di kaya gagamit ng in-vitro fertilization o surrogate mothers. Natural lang sa isang anak na hanapin ang kanyang ama at ina ngunit ano kaya ang iisipin niya kung nakita niyang dalawa ang ama niya o di naman kaya dalawa ang kanyang ina? Maaring siya ay malito, lalo na kung makita niya ang ibang mga pamilya na binubuo ng ama, ina, at mga anak. Magkakaroon siya ng maraming katanungan at ang kanyang isipan ay maguguluhan. Kung dalawang lalaki ang mayroong anak, hahanap-hanapin ng anak ang kanyang ina. Magkakaroon ito ng malaking epekto sa pagpapalaki ng mga anak sapagkat iba ang pag-aaruga ng isang babae sa lalaki. Ang ina ang nagbibigay ng seguridad sa emosyonal na aspeto ng kanyang anak. Ano na lang kaya ang mangyayari sa isang bata kung wala siyang ina? Kung pareho namang babae ang magulang ng isang anak, sigurado ring maghahanap ang bata ng isang ama. Ang mga ama ang nagbibigay ng proteksyon at seguridad sa kanilang mga anak at kung walang kinikilalang ama ang isang anak, paano lalaki ang bata nang maayos? Ayon sa isang pag-aaral, maraming mga kababaihan na walang kinikilalang mga ama ang nabubuntis sa napakabatang edad. Napatunayan din na may mga pagkukulang sa pagpapalaki ng bata ang mga mag-asawang pareho ang kasarian. Mayroon ding mga pag-aaral kung saan nalaman na maaring magkaroon ng problema sa sekswal na persepsyon ang mga anak na pinalaki ng mga mag-asawang pareho ang kasarian. Ayon sa pag-aaral na ito, ang mga anak na lalaking pinalaki ng parehong tomboy ay hindi masyadong lalaki kung kumilos at ang mga babae namang pinalaki ng mga tomboy ay mas lalaki kung kumilos.

Ayon naman sa mga sang-ayon sa same sex marriage (partikular na ang mga LGBTs), lahat tayo ay tao. Meron tayong iba’t-ibang karapatan. Sila na gustong magpakasal sa kaparehas na kasarian, bakit hindi sila mabigyan ng karapatan na gawin ang gusto nila? Tignan man natin sa iba’t-ibang anggulo, pare-parehas lang tayo. Tao sila, kaya nilang gawin ang gusto nilang gawin at hindi sila nagpapaapekto sa pag-tingin ng mga tao sa kanila. Hindi sila nawawalan ng pag-asa na sa bandang huli, makukuha natin silang tanggapin. Kung titignan natin, umiibig lamang sila, gaya natin. Gusto lamang nilang maging opisyal ang kanilang pagmamahal, kung saan kaya nila itong ipakita at ipagmalaki sa lahat.

Hanggang ngayon patuloy pa rin ang pagkakaroon ng iba’t-ibang opinyon ukol sa isyung ito. Ang ating lipunan ay unti-unting pa lamang namumulat sa mga iba’t ibang uri ng mga pagsasama maliban sa ating mga alam at nakagawian. Hindi natin alam kung kailan matatanggap nang buo ng mga tao ang ganitong mga relasyon ngunit sa nakikita nating makabagong henerasyon, maari itong maging isang pamantayang sosyal sa ating pamumuhay.

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SOURCE:

Family Research Council. Ten Arguments from Social Science Against Same Sex Marriage. http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=if04g01.

GROUP 6:

Domingo, Mark Anthony

Jacobe, Dessa Mae

Perez, Jeff

Posilero, Jinky

Rubiano, Geremie

Tajan, Patrisha Willyn Mae

The Black Sheep

I’m a middle child. With one older sister and brother and one younger brother and sister. And with this number of children, you would always seem certain that this would lead to one thing, CHAOS. In our toddler years, there is not a single day that we fail to fight, tease and pissed each other off. And being the middle child I always had this concept of “Middle child Syndrome” where I find myself in the middle line, torn between “too young” for my older siblings to argue with and “too old” for my younger siblings to pick a fight with. And for years I have learned to plant hatred against them and it just grew and grew overtime. Me and my older siblings were never placed at the same school, from elementary up to college, my parents were frequently asked by our neighbors why it is so, and they would say that it’s because we have different interests and it’s our right to choose whatever school we like to enter to as long as we study well. But I know it’s more than that, we were never comfortable around each other, and we can’t even look eye to eye. It’s like we were complete strangers to each other living under the same roof. It’s funny how I can’t even remember them ever included in my childhood memories. Do I hate them so much, my brain deleted their images?

My mother left to work abroad when I was 5, without us (siblings) knowing, all that I can remember was a note held by our oldest sister who was at that time 9 who won’t stop crying as she was reading silently the goodbye our mother left in that note for us, leaving my father to take care of us.  Unlike them, that incident didn’t bother me, I grew up not needing or seeking a motherly love, all I need at that time was the money and luxury she can give me.  I live in the moment, with vices from alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, gambling and all sorts of things that my parent didn’t knew about. I was a menace.  All because I had that empty hole that can't be filled. Was it because my parents didn’t love me enough? That was me then, a black sheep lost but then was found. Then again, that’s another story to tell.

SocSci 10 Z Group 4Jaeger Dwayne Tamara, Mike Gyro Paras, Anthony Teofilo Jr., GiannaCapacia, Faye Mendoza, Jerome Gabriel.

Agita and Expectations

Agita and Expectations

I remember the day when my mother threw my notebooks at me when I was a sophomore in high school. She went through my bag and discovered I got a 3 out of 10 in one of my Math quizzes and an 13 over 20 in one of my CLE tests in one day. It also didn’t help that I went straight for the computer to watch videos on YouTube. In my defence, those quizzes were a surprise. In general, I suck at surprises. In my offense, I should’ve studied better.

Anyway, I disliked my parents a lot at that time. They nagged too much, they expected too much, they got angry too much. They, themselves, were too much. They constantly compared me to my cousin and wondered why I was their kid. They criticized me for riding on the second bus home and getting home too late from hanging out with my friends, not realizing that I finally had friends to hang out with. She may not remember but I will always remember the time my mother called me stupid just for handing out the wrong fish to clean. Of course, that wasn’t the only time I got called stupid but that was the pettiest thing that stuck to my memory. The ban from the internet when my report cards showed up a little lower at one quarter of the school year wasn’t a shock to me. Sometimes, whenever I did something voluntarily, it almost always turned out wrong to them. It’s like it was better if I didn’t try even though they wanted me to try. That part of that year was slump after slump.

Soon enough, I didn’t dislike them anymore. Everything just felt normal. I felt stupid and it was normal. I felt ugly (they never said so but I did) and it was normal. I felt irrelevant (again, I said so) and that was normal too. Of course, I had to do something to make my situation feel easier since I was sick of feeling like crap, so I just did what they wanted. They wanted me to be better so I did what I thought what was better in their eyes.

I kept up my grades and shut my room. I didn’t get out of the house like they wanted to and I shut-upped about anything and everything whenever I was around my parents. My disagreement was their disapproval. I grew up learning that doing nothing is better than screwing up when acting on your own. Mistakes are hard to do when you get pummelled down whenever you made one. I thought that if I didn’t act on my own then maybe they’d be less disappointed.

Time-skip to a year later, and of course they’d think the opposite of what I thought. Didn’t I learn enough that nothing seemed right at all whenever it involved my own being? They suddenly wanted me to think for myself and initiate things. They wanted me to make my own decisions. I thought I got whiplash. I felt like a rag doll tossed from one side of a room to another by a five-year-old.

Basically, I was a junior and I was screwed. I spent the majority of my life trying to gain my parent’s constant approval with what seemed to be their ever-changing criteria. If they told me to be a nurse, I would have. That was also the time I believed that my father’s dinosaur figurine collection was more important than me. They pretty much left me in the air and I had nothing to fall back on. That small chunk of freedom destroyed everything (and yes, I’m writing this in an over-dramatic way). For once, they could approve of what I wanted but the problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted since I decided to just want what they wanted considering I didn’t want to screw up since almost everything I did on my own got me into trouble anyway.

I was so unsure of myself. I felt like my decisions would turn out to be crap as soon as I thought of it. I felt like I wouldn’t get to anywhere in life since I didn’t know what I wanted to be or what I wanted in general. For once, I was distressed about what I wanted. I never thought I would see the day. Now that I think about it, it’s a bit funny. I still don’t know what I want in life.

I’ll never forget the day I got third place at a poetry contest when I was a junior in high school. I thought it was ridiculous to tell my parents. It was just third place after all. They wouldn’t be satisfied since I got first place years ago. Unfortunately, my cousin called and told them. You know what they said to me? They said they were proud of me. I went to my room and cried. Thank God, finally.

“When a parent's expectations for children are large, it becomes a burden for children.”
- Haruki Murakami

Group 3

Nunez, Vanessa Janine R.
Red, Ramces Brayalle T.
Ojos, Kevin H.

Alabin, Glassyl R.

Calip, Kaye Paula Ara M.

Moraleta, Raniella

NANNY'S GIRL

            My sister and I were raised by nannies. Our parents are separated and we live with our mother who has to work from early in the morning until late night that I barely even see her as a kid. Being a stubborn child, when my nanny would try to put me to bed, I would still wait for my mother to come home every night no matter how late it is that sometimes I would just cry the whole night all because I wanted her to be the one to lull me to sleep. In the morning, I would wake up alone in the bed realizing my mother had already gone to work. My nanny would then be the one to take me to school, help and teach me with my homework, play with me, and tag along with me wherever I go. Growing up, I interact with my nannies more often than my own parents.

            Why do parents even choose to hire nannies?  I think that the most common reason is the lack of time to take care of their household and children especially the young ones because of work outside the house, just like in my case. Some who doesn't have work may also get nannies to help them with just their household chores. Mostly the rich also hires nannies even if they are capable of doing things on their own just for additional eyes to look after their children. But the thing is, not everyone who has nannies are rich. That is one misconception I always hear from people. My high school classmates even tease me that I should be treated like a princess at school since that is what they think how I get treated at home and that I do not take orders from someone or nobody is allowed to command me. Honestly, it is partly true and I guess that is one of the disadvantages of having nannies: I grew up lazy. I did not learn to do the household chores- cooking, washing clothes and dishes, cleaning at an early age just like others because I know that there's always someone else who will do them for me. But all that doesn't mean we are wealthy. It may be true that most rich people hire nannies but again, not all who has nannies are rich.

            Another disadvantage is that it really takes time to find the perfect nanny for a certain family. My mother has to search everywhere, ask everyone, and check backgrounds before we could finally settle for someone. But our nannies, especially when I was younger, easily come and go. It must have been tough for them, taking care of somebody else's children- two naughty and restless children while being in charge of the entire household whenever my mom is not around, which is always. Given with too much responsibilities, most of them did not last long with us. There was even this one nanny who did not just leave us but also took some of my mom's clothes and perfumes with her. Another who just vanished one morning while me and my sister are alone and sound asleep in the house leaving the doors of our house unlocked and a note for an explanation. My mother got hysterical when she got home hugging us, crying and saying that she was very glad nothing bad happened to us alone because we were too young then. I feel bad for her sometimes. It is very difficult for her to trust a complete stranger with her properties and children.

            Good thing after quite some time, we finally found someone who made a perfect match for our family. For 6 years, she stood as our second mother, disciplining and loving us like a real parent. She made sure that we do our assignments as soon as we got home from school. She went to every school events and parents-teachers' conferences we have to support us. She did not allow us to play outside if we did not sleep in the afternoon. She did not let us get up from the dining table without finishing all the food in our plate. She even spanked us whenever we did something wrong, which my own parents never did to us. But even if I think she does not have the right to do those things, I was glad she did because it helped us to grow disciplined and mature. And if she didn't do that, who else will?

            As we grew older, things change. We do not interact with our nannies as much as we did when we were younger. As long as they provide us food to eat, clothes to wear, and a clean bed to sleep, everything's fine.

            Overall, it wasn't really bad growing up with nannies. You'll learn a lot of different things from a lot of different people and perspective. My sister and I turned out to be fine women and we owe them for that.

Group 2

Anna Mae Alamag

Jeska Nicole Cabiles

Dally Delos Santos

Rensea Mae De Vera

Isabella Herreria

Feby Andrea Laroco

Danna Ruiz

Because you left me

This is a poem about the life story of a high school friend of mine who had her family broken years ago. Her mother left her and her brother with their father. Their father had a lot of “concubines”. He also left them under the care of their old grandmother. When he returned in their life, he became an abusive father. Now, their mother is again knocking in their doors wanting to be accepted in the family once more.

We were once happy.

Now, why’d you left me?

Creeping at the dark night

I’m all alone, no guiding light.

No perfect family we were

But we were contented.

Even Dad always hurt you,

You are always in my rescue.

Came the time dad also left.

Grandma and brother are the only ones there

Neglected my studies, I did

Because you left me.

Remnants of the past

Taunting me, they did.

Often at night I cry

Because you left me.

I let myself be influenced.

I let myself to go astray.

I let myself wallow in self pity

Because you left me.

My youngest sister,

I haven’t even seen her.

Not a chance was given

Because you left me.

Dad came back but was abusive.

He used to torment brother and me.

You were not there to stop him

Because you left me.

Graduation came

You weren’t there.

I walked with someone else

Because you left me.

Now you’re coming back into my life

Yet the question is, should I? Or should I not?

It is hard for me to decide

Because you left me.

Group 2