Friday, February 27, 2015

“Mothers know best"

            “Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.”
― Donna BallAt Home on Ladybug Farm


                       But what if, it turns the other way round?

            I first met this family seven years ago. During that time, the single mother has only two children. Three years later, came another baby and just a year ago, a new life was added in their population.

            She has four children now, with two ex-lovers (I can’t say husbands because she didn’t marry either of them) and now living with the biological father of the last two children. Her sister claims that the mother chose to abandon the father of her first child simply because the guy had become sterile. Though the man can pretty well support her and their baby, she preferred to abandon him with their child because of her selfish reason which is the thought that the man can no longer help her produce a baby.

            After they separated, she “fell in love” with another guy. They lived together and she got pregnant with her second child. Their affair was short-lived because the man had died leaving her and her babies alone.

            You know what happened next. She found another man who was able to accept the fact that she already has two kids with different fathers. They were able to have no only one but two babies. Her new “husband” is a contractual worker, earning 200php per day, which is not able to support the whole family considering that they already have four children.

            She tried to look for a job. Fortunately, her sister was able to refer her in a factory that pays satisfactorily. But to her sister’s dismay, she didn’t last long in that occupation. She just attended the three-day training that paid 200php a day then had gone AWOL leaving a few debts in the canteen of the factory and making her sister pay for what she owed. Well, that is not the first time that thing happened and definitely not the last. She had tried working before but she just can’t seem to make herself last in a job. Employers are tired of her.

            We are questioning how can she be a good mother to her kids? Those stated above are not the only reasons why we doubt her capability to satisfy the needs of the children.

            She is a drunkard, was a drug user (unsure if she still does it up to this day), and a gambler. She has a friend who often goes to their house and bring alcoholic drinks. Each time she gets drunk, which is frequently, she and her live-in partner quarrels and keep their neighbors wide awake. Eventually, they get physical and the guy ends up sleeping in jail.

            On the gambling part, every time she has money or the guy hands over his salary, she plays “tong its”. One time, her baby was “sick” and someone gave her 400php. Instead of bringing the child to the hospital, she went gambling.

            The guy she’s with right now is just the same as her –a gambler and a drunkard. Their only difference is that her partner has a job and takes care of all the household chores.

            These things have a great impact on the kids. From what I can see, they are neglected. All four of them are malnourished. I don’t even know if they have an unending colds or if it’s something worse already. They seldom bath for goodness’ sake!

            The first child often gets in to trouble in school. Just a couple of weeks ago, he punched a girl on the face. The teacher called for both parents but his mother did not even bother to show up in school. Not only that, she just let him go to the computer shop without studying. Doesn’t she worry that her child might not be able to pass this time? Last school year, he was barely passing.

            On the other hand, the second one goes to school twice a week at most. The third one which is a girl is already at the age for kindergarten but she doesn’t send her to school. She says she wants her children to graduate high school and if they’re lucky enough, even in college but how will that happen if she doesn’t even motivate them to attend their classes?

            Yes, I am in no position to question her but the children are the ones who are gaining nothing. The money she gets from the 4Ps program of the government does not even go to the kids. She spends them all on cigarettes, alcohol and gambling.
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Group 2
Anna Mae Alamag
Jeska Nicole Cabiles
Dally Delos Santos
Rensea Mae De Vera
Isabella Herreria
Feby Andrea Laroco
Danna Ruiz



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